So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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