Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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