Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
