All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
