is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
