who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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