i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
