would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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