i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
