So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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