Kiss
Puke
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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