I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
