he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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