Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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