OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
