Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize