Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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