He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize