even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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