I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
