there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
