so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
