I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
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Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
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Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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