About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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