upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
