i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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