He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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