your room smells of hookers.
And success
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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