Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
