Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.

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  (703): How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time. http://tfl.nu/qie0
  Replies (2) Good night (1401) Bad night (487)
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  (805): View more from California

  Soap is not a condiment

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  (805): Soap is not a condiment http://tfl.nu/gm1k
  Replies (6) Good night (590) Bad night (1028)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.

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  (954): i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process. http://tfl.nu/s5xk
  Replies (78) Good night (1468) Bad night (5238)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.

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  (717): Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag. http://tfl.nu/8k5h
  Replies (41) Good night (3274) Bad night (3072)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks

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  (912): an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks http://tfl.nu/5yhs
  Replies (25) Good night (6203) Bad night (1037)
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  (818): View more from California

  why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?

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  (818): why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing? http://tfl.nu/8p36
  Replies (26) Good night (1014) Bad night (3561)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride

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  (702): Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride http://tfl.nu/xs6r
  Replies (9) Good night (3680) Bad night (1227)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again

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  (570): I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again http://tfl.nu/qatr
  Replies (7) Good night (1960) Bad night (612)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.

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  (262): I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole. http://tfl.nu/sdc1
  Replies (9) Good night (1789) Bad night (451)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.

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  (307): We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger. http://tfl.nu/ajz2
  Replies (6) Good night (1447) Bad night (412)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out

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  (407): More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out http://tfl.nu/4y5s
  Replies (4) Good night (497) Bad night (899)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave

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  (608): I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave http://tfl.nu/hose
  Replies (4) Good night (630) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth

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  (802): She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth http://tfl.nu/i0xq
  Replies (2) Good night (501) Bad night (363)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...

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  (608): I just used crown royal bags as pot holders... http://tfl.nu/4auc
  Replies (6) Good night (540) Bad night (243)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.

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  (323): IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME. http://tfl.nu/tf8f
  Replies (4) Good night (483) Bad night (178)

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