All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
