I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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