I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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