is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
