I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
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