Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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