No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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