we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
