his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
