My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize