Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
