Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
