I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
