What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
