she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
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How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
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Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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