I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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