This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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