If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
