I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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