took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
