i wish there were pregnant emoticons
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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