But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
