idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
