This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
