Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
