they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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