I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
