his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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