Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Randomize
