I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
