and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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