She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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